Quotes To Live By

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Speaking His Language

5 things to say to your man to get him to do what you want but saying it in such a way that he just might comply.

1. What you want him to do: Workout
What you want to say: Ya body can’t compete with ya boy’s. You need to get it together.
What you should say: Babe, you didn’t want to work out with your boys today? It sucks that they left you behind.

Reality behind the situation: Obviously no man wants to be told what to do cuz that’s where the resentment kicks in, especially when it comes to his appearance. But make it seem like a competition and his boys are ahead of the game, he'll immediately switch into high gear just to keep up.
Might not work: Now if your boo is just plain lazy, a donut hanging from a fishing rod in front of a treadmill wont get that man running.

2. What you want him to do: Clean (i.e. room, bathroom etc)
What you want to say: Damn you don’t ever cleanup $h!t
What you should say: Babe can you straighten up a little bit today. If not, I’ll try to get to it when I get off work.

Reality behind the situation: Again, you are not this man’s mother so no sense in taking him back to his youth when being commanded to clean up. Simply make it seem like a joint effort where you don’t mind doing it but you’d be grateful if he stepped up. Ever watched Who’s the Boss… he sure did know how to handle a vacuum… I love a man with a dust buster hmmmmmmm
Might not work: if your man only hears what he wants, all he caught was, “I’ll… get to it when I get off work.”

3. What you want him to do: Stop eyeing other girls while you’re out together
What you want to say: Look at another girl and I’ma smack you!
What you should say: Dag babe did you see that, her butt WAS pretty big

Reality behind the situation: Hell, if you can’t beat em, join em. Men start looking at women around age 2 or 3… and he stops around 2 or 3 days after he takes his last breath. Because I’m convinced that on his way to heaven, he is eyeing something bending over towards his casket. So ladies, deal with it. And instead of being the persecutor… just admit it, that girl’s butt was pretty big.
Might not work: if your man is the type to take a mile when given an inch, he might jus think it’s ok to start hollering at these ladies hoping you’ll follow up.

4. What you want him to do: Behave himself while out of state vacationing with his boys.
What you want to say: Don’t let me hear about you getting it poppin’ while you’re away
What you should say: Have fun and be safe boo. I can’t wait until me and my girls leave town next week. They are all single and sure do know how to have a good time. I’m glad I got a good man to keep me grounded.

Reality behind the situation: A man simply wants a good time. And a truly good man knows how to have it without violating his relationship. So give him a break. But in the meantime, make him realize the “fun” that’s available to him is also available to you. And while you’re out with Wild Out Wendy and Get It Poppin’ Patricia, you intend on behaving, just as he should.
Might not work: if your man secretly believes the old cliché what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, he’s convinced he’ll never get caught.

5. What you want him to do: Keep up the momentum when he’s being sweet or doing nice things
What you want to say: A sista can’t get no flowers or nothing? It was all good just a week ago.
What you should say: You sure do know how to please a girl. And you better believe I love to please my man.

Reality behind the situation: Sorry fellas, but men are like puppies. If he does a good trick, you give him a doggy treat and he’ll be breaking his neck to out-do himself the next time to see what other tricks or treats you got up your sleeve. Moral of the story, ladies, learn how to please your man. And I’m gonna leave this open ended. Cuz I can’t tell you how to please YOUR man… but believe me when I tell you, another girl does. Move right or get left.
Might not work: if your man is simply oblivious… he can’t even make the connection between favor for a favor.

Obviously, this won’t apply to every man but give it a whirl and let me know how it turned out. I ran this list by my boyfriend and he laughed. Don’t know if it was at me or with me but he insisted my efforts were valiant. Little does he know, the real tricks I haven’t written about yet. lol

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