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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Is Masturbation Cheating?

I just read an article which describe married women who are disturbed by their husbands’ private wrist exercise practices. This is my commentary on the matter.

First of all, LOL, this shit is funny. I’m sorry, I had to get that out of my system (no pun intended). I actually posed a similar question to my gf a couple of months ago. And this ties into my gripes about the way society views cheating. The question I posed was, “Are men cheating when they go to strip clubs?”

It may be considered cheating because naked or half naked women are parading around to simulate arousal in a man’s pants, while simultaneously putting cash in their pants (or thongs or … you get the picture). Sexual arousal occurs when the brain thinks the body will soon participate in sexual activity. At this point the guy is “up” and the brain thinks sexual engagement will soon occur. So this guy is imagining (consciously or subconsciously) sexual activity with the parading women around him. Is this cheating?

Let’s take it a step further. In most of these clubs laps dances are employed for further arousal (and cash). Some men (I’ve heard) actually soil their trousers while being entertained by such measures, although no actual penetration has occurred. Ejaculation occurs at the climax of sexual arousal. In this case, the brain cannot tell the difference between a lap dance and actual sexual intercourse; if it could, neither arousal nor ejaculation would occur. Now, can this be considered cheating?

If we take it one step further, we get to the topic of discussion, “Is masturbation cheating?” Scrap the strip club situation and let’s look at a hypothetical situation with Bob. Bob’s wife is (or was) a thick light-skinned woman with a fat ass, slim waist, and big breast and he’s had her every way imaginable. Today Bob wants a chocolate lover with beautiful dark skin and with petite build. He could A) find a chocolate lover for the day and cheat on his wife or B) pick up the DVD “Dark Chocolate Honeys 5″ at his local adult novelty store (or boot-legger) and spend some quality time with himself.

In either situation Bob’s brain is satisfied with the results: going through motions of sexual intercourse with a dark-skinned petite woman. Most would agree that option B is more acceptable than option A. I argue that both the situations should be judged equally, either acceptable or not. I say this in my attempt to sharpen the blurred lines of what is and isn’t cheating. Is it penetration or ejaculation? Is it thought or action? Or is it emotional reoccurring involvement with any of the above? You tell me.

Oh, before I forget, please comment. I'd like to know your thoughts.

Meet the guest author: Rey

Rey is a rapper, writer, professional and all around work-o-holic (he's also one of my best friends). To read more posts like the one above check out this blog. If you want to hear his music check out his website.


  1. cheating is penetration. period. it is human nature to become aroused by any type of sexual stimulus. so just because a man or a woman is in a relationship doesn't mean they become blind. you don't hear men complaining about their wives getting hot and bothered from reading romance novels. therefore we shouldnt mind them masturbating or going to strip clubs.

    and personally, i dont mind letting the women at the strip club get my man ready so he can take it out on me ;) i'll even go with him!! as long as he aint spending bill money!!

  2. @Fancy would you mind if he's taking it out on you but thinking of someone else??

  3. i cant fathom that bcuz i know how to preoccupy his mind!! if a man's not into you during sex, im sure you'd be able to sense it, and i have to tell you, i've never experienced that!!

    and if it so happens that what you say is possible, what i dont know won't hurt me... just like you'd never know what im really thinking...

  4. ok... so (to bring it back a bit) if someone is penetrating you but thinking of someone else, would that be considered cheating? (hint: yes or no question)

  5. ha, good one rey. but let me step in. i see where fancy is coming from when she says "what i dont know won't hurt me... just like you'd never know what im really thinking" , but where im confuse at is if i take everything you guys say and actually play by it then the simple fact is there is no such thing as a trust worthy relationship is there? i mean since we all (hyperticatically speaking) maturbate or think of other ppl well being intimite or go to strip clubs then why do we get in relationships since we as humans are never satified?

  6. I just asked my bf rey's question and he said nah, thats not cheating. He said what if she's thinking about someone she has never even been with or never will. My take on it is pretty much the same. If his mind wanders, he's not cheating. He's experiencing sexual fantasizing. I imagine cheating to be based on intent, not thoughts.

  7. i think marckens just scratched the surface of what this post is really about... :)

    @J i completely understand your position but i argue that, to an individual, thoughts are as important as action