Who the hell said love is to a relationship, what a song is to a bird, or, what sunlight is to a flower? These two, though closely related are as distinct as night and day. They share the same energy but they do not depend on each other to survive. Relationships in its simplest form can exist without romantic love and love can exist without a defined relationship. You may understand one without any degree of knowledge about the other. For instance, I can love without understanding what it takes to commit (I'm just not ready for a relationship) or I can engage in a relationship without the slightest remnants of romantic emotions involved (I just don't feel you like that).
With that clear, let me include you in a convo I had with my boy last night where cheating become the topic of discussion. We tried to decipher whether or not cheating exists because of the lack of love or because of a relationship malfunction. While love represents the emotional connection between two people, cheating is not a breech of its contract. Of course we can argue that if love is as true as it claims to be, why would anyone violate its stronghold? But does love outweigh any other human emotion that influences our actions?? Does love rule out the possibility of mistakes, of desires, of weaknesses?? So let's be clear, love, by definition, is a strong positive emotion. Period.
The responsibility of self control (or the will not to cheat) lies within the terms of an acknowledged relationship. To commit is to actively own up to this acclaimed love in a reflection of respect, loyalty and trust. Therefore, with the upholding of these ideals, I, and my partner, agree not to violate the relationship. So if either cheats, inadvertently, the relationship may falter and end, because someone has broken the rules. And the one thing that should come out unshaken and unscathed is the love we have for each other. For love is the innocent bystander to mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally, made in a relationship.
I say this to say, even though I never doubted your love for me, you may still be learning what it takes to maintain a committed relationship. And because of that I forgive you. EYEListen.
we have so many definitions for love that it sometimes makes it difficult to pin point exactly what it is... i will share my (current) understanding... love is total acceptance of yourself and all the qualities that make you you ...once you accept yourself fully, you can spread that acceptance throughout the world... love... i dont think it's an emotions b/c emotions have opposites, there is no opposite to loveReplyDelete
Is hate not the opposite of love? And if u'd like to argue that, let's say ok love has no opposite, it doesn't mean its not an emotion. Jus because the word "orange" has no rhyme, does that make it not a word. I don't think you can rule something out because it runs into an exception. Who said emotions have to have an opposite?? Emotions r defined as strong feelings. Or to elaborate, its a mental and physiological state associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Nothing bout opposites there...ReplyDelete
Hate is not the opposite of love when dealing with romantic relationships. Its just easier and harsher to say "I hate you" then to say " I love you, but you hurt me so I want you to feel the hurt too or make you believe I don't love you anymore." I'm winded just typing that. There is no trace of Love in "Hate". Once a hint of Love enters in the word Hate becomes obsolete. I'm a believer that Love is a choice. And since Love is chained to your mental state and emotions, your making a choice to invest them in that person(s). That's why I do believe you can have a relationship w/o Love. It just sucks if you both aren't on the same page.ReplyDelete