Quotes To Live By

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use...

EYE live by these quotes

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Lenders at the Borrower's Mercy: Just Say NO

PSA:  Do not part with material things you cannot afford to lose. I repeat, refrain from loaning, giving, or fronting money or items you cannot afford to lose...

*dusting off hands*  THERE!! Now the word is out. Now there will be no more beef, no more tension, no more jealousy, awkwardness, resentment, hate, travesties or demonic rituals due to unreturned loot or merchandise. No need to thank me...and hold ya applause.

Shit, yeah right, and as you read, someone is handing over their Christian Dior shades, their most prized DVDs, their car, their TomTom and a whole shitload of other stuff... especially MONEY. And in their hearts they truly believe they will see these items again. Well... won't they??????  No one really knows and that's how we immediately set ourselves up for disappointment as we watch our merchandise wave its final goodbye. Realize these are all material things. Things that can be damaged, lost, blown or stolen. And before those possessions leave your possession, ask yourself, Am I ready to lose a lifelong friendship over some cash.... my car.... a DVD??

Take a peak into a personal experience of mine:
So I'm at the airport headed to the A when I see this guy who clearly is excited to see me. And as I stare at this man with absolutely no recollection of where I kno him from, I put on the "hey what's going on" front like he was my long lost friend. Thru convo I was able to pick up on the fact that I met this guy ONCE thru a friend and we all had shared one short afternoon in the mall one day. Ok so whateva, he and I are both now headed to the A. We agree to hook up and hang out, exchanged numbers and hopped on the plane. So in the A, he's staying an hour or so from where I am and I journey to go pick him up. I drive back an hour in the direction I already came from and we go meet up with some of my friends. Midway thru the nite, laughing, chilling, having a good time, this man decides he's ready to leave. WTF?!?! I told him, taking him back to his hotel was outta the question afta I jus drove 2 hours out my way (yes, I kno I'm too nice sometimes). So he decides he jus needs a ride downtown Atlanta. Ok cool. Oh I failed to mention he brings along his TomTom navigation system which works wonders when you're in a foreign place driving 2 useless hours for someone who had no means of transportation. Ok so when we arrive at his destination, he says, keep my navi and give it back to me in Jers. If this was a sitcom, the scene would freeze and I would look at the camera and say "Huge mistake". So I agree. Fast forwarding, I pack the device in my carry-on, head to jersey and hit dude up to set up a meeting spot and time. We meet, I hand it ova, we share a couple laughs and I pull off. 2 minutes later, he calls and tells me its broken. (Must have happened in the overhead compartment on the plane).  The screen is cracked and it won't cut on. DAMN!! So the next day he calls telling me to pay for it or buy him another one. This is when I look around to figure out who he's talking to. With a bit of sass, head jerking and fingers snapping, I tell him he was my vacation's inconvenience, he offered the navi up and if I didn't have to play taxi, I could have taken him and his thing back to his hotel when the nite was over!! But listen, I'm not a jerk, so I told him I would go half on a refurbished navi since it was both our faults and the thing was hardly brand new. However, with me changing my numbers the way I do, I haven't spoken to this man since terms were agreed. Soooo...... Hey dude, if you're reading this, I got ya punk ass 60 dollars!!

People be really losing sleep over unreturned crap. Just stop lending out your rent money!! Stop making your insurance company mad as hell 'cause your neighbor crashed your car. Stop ticking off your girl who can't understand why the DVD rack looks so skimpy. Oh and if you're acting like you're balling and someone loses your shades in the club, ball out and buy another pair. Unless hawking someone and bullying 'em works better for you. *shrugging shoulders*  Charge it all to the game. (Which means to just take the L).  Or next time someone asks to borrow something, think to yaself, will I absolutely die if this isn't returned??  And if the answer is YES, you tell them NO.  Just remember fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, then I must be a damn idiot...

SB: Yes, the borrowers should be held accountable. But as a lender, you have control. Ask for collateral, get it in writing, or jus tell them to beat it. No matter how close your relationship is, it's ok to say NO. Who do you always see on Judge Judy?? Close relatives and best friends. EYEListen.


  1. how about people who know that they never return items that are loaned to them (or things always end up lost, stolen, or broken) should stop asking to borrow things to save wreaking havoc on unsuspecting good samaritans.. sure i could replace some shades or gps nav, but having an item returned is about principal, trust, and consideration for others and their things.. just bc you place no value on material things doesnt mean all of the rest of the world is and should be that way.. just as a bank loan is about credit history and trust, the same goes (unfortunately friends cant run background checks and the like, all they know is what you show them, and if in their heart, they trust you, you cant throw fault at that).. u knew it was a bad idea for you to keep that nav so U should have said no.. and you absolutely dont get credit for coming to an agreement with him (for any amount of money, as if $60 is nothing) and saying to hell with it bc you changed ur number, u still had his number and it was ur responsibility to follow thru on UR word..

    suffice it to say, i do not agree with you..

  2. people make shit up to be angry about... "oh its about principal" is the primary thing behind people's egos. Just get over it!! people throw in "principal" or "trust" to validate their anger or their demands... with the navi i dont need credit from anyone... i had set up several diff times to meet up with this man and he kept rescheduling. i even tried to reach him thru the mutual friend. But i didn't need to prove all that in my post cuz i wasn't trying to convince anyone to take my side. And i agreed to take it cuz his ass had already got me so lost and my whole nite thrown off that i just wanted to get back to my friends in a timely manner. Life will go on if ppl would stop putting so much value on worthless stuff. And if ppl think stuff means THAT much to them, just say no, hence the title of my post... borrowers often don't intend to lose stuff, but hey, shit happens... that's y i threw in the "fool me once..." quote... I dont loan things out that i absolutely love or need and i dont loan things to ppl who have lost anything of mine previously... simple mathematics...

    any half witted person would have some sort of knowledge of credibility of the borrower so its ridiculous to call them an unsuspecting good samaritan. Thats characteristic of someone who spares some change, not their car...

    I don't write to be agreed with...so, no harm, no foul

    thanks for your comment

  3. Hey Soror..this is my first time on ur blog. & here is my first entry.... Its a complicated situation. We have all let ppl borrow things or asked to borrow things and have no clue what will happen to them in the future whether its 5min later or 5days later. Things happen and something can easily been ruined just like his navi But b/c I was raised with morals I would have probably done the samething u did and offer half of the $ for the navi but at the same time made an effort to contact him to give it to him so I could wash my hands with the situation.


  4. Hey Soror. Yeah i left that part out but i had set up several meeting times and he kept rescheduling. After so much time lapsed, I washed my hands of it anyway. That man ruined part of my trip and he surely didn't offer up any gas money so we both lost in the situation...

    Thanks for your comment

  5. Message to an Anonymous commenter: In order to post comments criticizing Just"J", reveal your identity to keep a level playing field, ya know. This is an open forum and I appreciate all comments. Honesty boxes can be found on facebook... we're all grown here. So please repost your same comment along with your identity. Thanks for reading!! =)

    Thanks for your comment

  6. I'm in total agreeance.....I dont let anyone borrow anything that I'm not willing to part ways with forever...especially money.