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Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Male Penis Syndrome (MPS)

DISCLAIMER: The Male Penis Syndrome (MPS) is not applicable for all men. Also, some women may be afflicted with this syndrome.

Over the years, I’ve had a couple of male best friends and several male friends that have been open to me about their sexual conquests. Sometimes they were single and sometimes, they were in relationships.  Recently, I borrowed a male friend’s phone to make a phone call. When he handed the phone to me, it was still in message mode. I, being Nosy Sakinah, saw the words “Did you hit yet?” and instead of exiting, I read several more lines of the message.  More or less, my friend had recently got into a relationship and his male friend’s message right after “I see you got a new girl” was “Did you hit yet?” My friend’s response? “Not yet, but soon.”
This exchange got me thinking about males and their constant need to “smash” something and their friend’s need-to-know about their friends’ “smashing” ability. Males have always talked about their sexual exploits, whether they were with a significant other or a random stranger.  Many females are closed-lipped about their sexual experiences and it made me wonder: Why do Males love to brag about their sex lives? It is then I decided that many males must have the disorder: Male Penis Syndrome (MPS).

MPS is when a male associates his manliness with his penis conquests. Whether they admit it or not, a male’s ego is intertwined with his penis. Often, the more times he has sex with females, particularly different females, the more confident he feels with himself. He expands his ego by then bragging to his friends and using terms such as “Yea, I hit that” or “I tapped that.”  Males have a never-ending desire to compete and this is one of their biggest competitions.  Judgment occurs during MPS and the most points are given to the male that either had the wildest sexual experience or they were with an attractive female.
MPS usually begins when a male is middle school but grows and manifests itself as the male enters high school.  As a male student approaches his senior year, his status amongst other males is based mainly on one thing: whether or not he is a virgin.  If he is a virgin he is considered “whack.” If not, he’s “okay”. If he has been with the hottest and popular girls in school, he is considered, “The Man.”  MPS continues as the male grows older and moves on to a job or college. 

Of course, I must add that there are some males that choose to settle down and keep their penis with one female. At this point, men afflicted with MPS most likely tease the MPS-free man by saying he is “whipped.”  MPS affects a man’s judgment and reasoning when it comes to ‘settling down.’ Men with this condition cannot get it through thick skulls why a man would choose to be with one woman (when there are many more “fish in the sea”) for the rest of his life.
The reason why MPS afflicts men more than women is because of the double standard that has been placed on women since the dawn of time. The more women a man sleeps with he is seen as the “Don Juan” or the ultimate “Player.” The more men a woman sleeps with she is considered a “Whore” or a “Slut”. Moreover, a man is more likely to cheat for physical reasons and a female more likely to cheat for emotional reasons.  The physical reasons have more to do with the fact that sometimes, a male simply does not feel like a man if he feels tied down.
Hence, I believe women need to stop asking the question, “Why do Men Cheat?” Either you’re blessed with a man that is not going to or your cursed with a man that will. Male Penis Syndrome is a condition that has afflicted men since the dawn of time. It exists in every religion (including my own: Islam) and it’s not going anywhere. Males will continually feel the need to poke their penis into new and foreign female holes in order to continually prove they are “The Man amongst Men.” 

Meet the author: Sakinah

Sakinah Hofler is an engineer by day and a writer by night. She writes creative fiction and screenplays. She is currently working on her first novel for young adults, tentatively titled "A Different World." She can be contacted at SakinahHofler@gmail.com or on her Squidoo website: http://www.squidoo.com/lensmasters/blackquisition.


  1. Point taken. I totally get where you're coming from. But let's look at it from a different angle...

    Food. Everyone eats and gets hungry. When you've had a great meal (e.g. bbq baby back ribs with the meat sliding off the bones) it is very likely that you'll tell a friend, "yo them ribs i had last night were slamming". It's a conversation that we all can relate to. If you havent eaten all day you'll tell someone, "damn i aint eat since this morning, i'm starving" The other person can relate because it's likely they know how it feels to be hungry.

    I think sex is the same way. Men talk about it more because we are allowed to. If society didnt make a big deal about women talking about it, i bet they would talk about it just as much (maybe more)... just like food...

  2. Lol, i always did love your food references (never forgot the late-night Wendy's one). Yes, I agree that if sex wasn't so taboo for women, they would talk about more openly also (they do with their female friends, but usually in a graphic yet trying to be non-whorish sort of way).

    Of course, nearly everyone loves food (I am actually a BBQ beef ribs person myself :-D). I just think its bad when it goes from "liking ribs" to a "hot dog eating contest." Its like whoever eats the most is the champion. And even if a girlfriend or wife thinks she's special, if her man has MPS, she is really just another hot dog in the contest - chewed into bits, discarded, and just a number amongst many. At the end of the contest the winner gets accolades and respect from his counterparts. The female heads straight down the toilet. (This also goes for both sexes. Females definitely do it too).
    I guess it would be nice if one day everyone ate food peacefully and shook their head at the person being too greedy instead of patting them on the back.

  3. Very interesting comment Rey. Good sex may want 2 b spoken as freely as discussing a delicious meal. And Sakinah, very very good comeback. Cuz that's what make it a syndrome, when it becomes a "hot dog eating contest".

    But to disagree jus a bit on referencing sex and eating in an analogous way, let's consider a few points. No one is getting prego off some slamming bbq ribs. Nobody is using an oral contraceptive to prevent an STD from some rocking curry goat. No ladies are getting UTIs (urinary tract infections) from eating rough savory steak. LOL. So due to the level of extremity, ladies are better off keeping that sex convos to a minimum, perhaps as men shud. =)

  4. Funny article and a good read. But the truth is most men only talk about or brag about the "insignifigant" extravaganzas. No man with any syndrome in thier right mind is going to go tell his boy or anyone on earth that he just had the world best baby back ribs if he wants to keep those ribs.

    Just my 2 coppers

  5. I too had the MPS in highschool, but if u are "that girl" a man will grow up. I was married once and never once did I cheat even though in highschool i was known to have my share of flings. Although my marriage didn't last it had nothing to do with adultry. Being faithful is a combination of morales and values. If man has his morales intacted and values his own life aswell as his relationship if "that girl" comes along he will settle down. You should check out my blogg Promiscuity " the double standard"

  6. 1) sakinah good point... there are always those over-eaters... i was jut trying to break the syndrome down to its core

    2) J there are food diseases too but we're thinking too hard about the analogy

    3) Anonymous - i agree i wouldnt share any details about a person i'm seeing on a consistent bases nor would i ask a friend about how there wife gets down...

    4) 25champ - "cheating" is as natural as breathing air... we (men and women) are trained out of it... think about it... monogamy is not natural

  7. Well, to respond quickly (my job has the website blocked :-( I’m on NJIT computers right now) on the monogamy bit I feel that it’s a choice. Either someone will choose to be monogamous or they won’t. They problem arises when monogamy is one-sided. I feel men and women relations should be like this: if you want to do you, don’t be in a relationship. Or if you want to “do you” in a relationship, let it be an open one in which both girlfriend and boyfriend can indulge as they please. BUT it becomes unfair if one person is being unfaithful and the other person is being faithful. So, you either say “hey this one-on-one thing isn’t for me” and end it so that you can continue to play as you please. Or, if that person has surpassed MPS, he/she can find “that girl” or “that guy” and you say, “Hey, I think I can be with just this one person” and not allow their penis or vagina to wander away from the relationship. But it’s unfair if a person tries to do both a relationship and many other chicks/dudes on the side.

  8. @Sakinah - Mean arent going to have deal with or tolerate a cheating woman or an unfaithful one, or a "just doing me one". Possible the anatomy of woman or the fact that when a woman engages with a man she is "letting" him ______.