Unless you're Oprah or Bill Gates (both of whom frequent my blog... In my head)... most of the toughest decisions you will ever have to make will involve that magical emotion: LOVE. Whether its love for a craft, a place, or that special someone, you will need to decide if its best if you stick with it or if you should let it go. Letting go is the most difficult of the two but if you delay it, it will only get tougher.
Last week I was laid off from my job. Hold the sympathy and the "it will be okays" because next to having my leg broken, that's the single most important thing that has happened to me on this road toward rediscovering/reinventing myself. Sounds weird, I know. But when I broke my leg.... It slowed my busy @$$ down and let me smell roses that had been sitting beneath me for years. Then once I had a plan in motion, I knew the next important step would be for me to quit my job. Needless to say, God heard my cries and on the 4th day returning to work from disability, they laid my butt smooth off. So now I can collect a li'l severance, go back to school and not be pressed looking for a job in the meantime. A few people closest to me couldn't really understand my drive and they have found it hard to be happy for me and to them I say: I'm the winner see my prize. You're the loser who sits and cries. LOL.
Since last Thursday, I've gained a super hero strength!! I felt like that move has sparked or better yet, has surged a power in me to decide what I need to stand clear of, what I need to separate myself from and what I need to keep the ball rolling with. Not everyone or everything will make the cut. And it will be hard to say goodbye... But dammit, GOODBYE! I'm no longer hanging on to relationships that are no good for me. I'm no longer living in situations where I can't find longevity. I'm no longer LOOKING for anything!! Have you ever driven down an unfamiliar road in search of a gas station, searching and searching when your not even sure if one will be found. Well I'm off that road!! I'm on Route 22 (google it you people far, far away) and not only is there a dozen gas stations, there's restaurants, entertainment stores, a supermarket and every other pointless to absolute necessary business manufacturing your every desire!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm making it sound easy when I know moving on is a very tough decision to make. But that's only because we ALL fear something new or starting over or taking risks. No one wants to leave security, that all too familiar comfort zone, and what you've invested so much time in. But keep it real, are you really enjoying it? Not just happy... Because happy is circumstantial and has no longevity. I'm taking about REAL joy. So even when you're mad or hurt or upset, you know that there's nowhere else in the world you would rather be. Anyone or anything may be able to put a smile on your face, but who or what will keep that smile up there?? Ok this is getting cheesy lol. Bottom line, drop the excess in order to make progress (man that was smooth, and right off the top).
He never reads my blogs, but in case he sees this... Know that I love you with all my heart, now and forever more. Thank you for it all.
And for the one who does read it, don't cheat yourself. Have no regrets. Do what you love and love what you do. I'll miss ya!! Oh and keep that tat clean and moisturized daily =)
A liberating experience for the both of us... The value of love, peace and friendship...
"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they are meant to be there; they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are."
SB: If a situation is looking like something you've done before and the outcome was no bueno, do yourself a favor and retreat. I did. And I feel like a wiser, stronger woman. Remember, fool me once...