Honestly, I don’t blame you for blurting ALL your business on facebook… I mean, it DOES ask, What’s On Your Mind…
1- Relationships: It’s “my boo is the love of my life and the best thing to happen to me…” to… “just found out my girl’s a hoe…” or… “that nicca straight up aint $h!t…” Like seriously, no one takes you or your relationship serious cause everyday you break up and every other day he’s the love of your life… meanwhile, the chics that he’s messing with, oh her statuses talk about how she cant wait til he leave yo @$$... scandalous lol
2- Huge imaginations: the infamous "grinding", life is so perfect, “Can't nobody steal my high” statuses. But if you know these people personally, they're broke, hate their lives and are the biggest complainers. Like Beanie said, “Grind from the bottom just to make it to the bottom…”
3- Promo: “Pretty please come to my party, my grand opening, my house for some nookie, my bail hearing, the clinic cuz it’s starting to burn…” Always begging for your presence at something you have no intent on attending. These people usually get deleted after resting on my nerves too long. Friends and strangers alike… *shrugs*.
4- Sports: Black Mamba this or King James that, who's better than me/meet me on the courts/field/track/2k10, etc. Or there's the “Your team sucks cuz my team jus beat them.” Then when their team loses the next weak they follow up with, "It’s all good, we'll bounce back!" Just one question, who’s writing your checks??
5- Debates: Facebook what do you think, should I wear the red pumps or the blue peep toes… who’s better lyrically Weezy or Fab… if ya man can’t work it but he treats you right, do you leave him or do you stay… Who hates Bron Bron now… I mean is this information being statistically logged?? Or is someone fishing for comments?? *bbm raised eyebrow*
6- Inspiration: a wise man once said... God loves you… Carpe Diem… and any other source of inspiration that people never really comment on, but will “like” button the mess out of.
7- Gossip: “Ooooooo hunny, did you hear about…” These people must think they work for CNN, Bossip and the Wendy Williams show… cuz they always got the latest scoop on which celebs split, what reality show just debuted, who just got indicted, who’s gay/lez, who’s a homewrecker… and at this point I’ll take the time to say shout out to Alicia Keys who doesn’t NEED to steal anybody’s man… that man went willingly. People kill me criticizing a person based on media filtered information!! *venting ends here…*
8- Hi Haters: Nowadays, even the cornballs seem to have haters. Can’t trust your friends, family, neighbors, police, grocery store clerk… damn. And Saddam Hussain thought he had it bad, sheesh.
9- GM/GN Facebookers: The most pointless, hands down, of any status… except for the popular “facebookers”, I guess… I’ve seen a GM status followed by like 40 comments!! Straight dialogue lol. I mean really, who needs text messaging?
10- Telling too Much: And don’t let me forget about my absolute fave… the status that actually tells people what YOU ARE doing… the “I'm leaving town for a 2 week stay in St Croix, my flight leaves at 7am, so I’ll probably leave my house round 5am (when the sun is barely up) and if that doesn’t help, I left a spare key under the flower pot… feel free to make yourselves at home because I won’t be back any time soon to realize I’ve been ROBBED!” SMDH
So do us all a favor, the next time FB asks, what’s on your mind… just say NOTHING (literally or figuratively).
SB: Just Kidding =)
SB++: For real though, be aware that ANYBODY can be looking at your page. So be mindful of it's contents. EYEListen.
#6 is funny b/c i will like the mess out of an inspirational status and #8 had me cracking up...ReplyDelete
LMAO..sooo funny...my status just always say how angry i am lol...they FB debates take the cake tho :)ReplyDelete
Hilarious! all of the fabricated B.S.on facebook big ballers, shot callers aka dumb n dumber. I try and stay away as much as possible frm all of the social netwrking cause ppl lie so much they don't even know anymore. U pretty much said it all tho. Good Read!ReplyDelete
LOL! I'm guilty of at least 5 of these, we all are. Honorable mention goes to my favorite:ReplyDelete
"I'm so cool bc I linked my damn twitter account to my fb page so when I u[grade my status every 12 minutes the rest of the flippin world gets my annoying updates."
I love it!! Esp #1,2, 8 and 10 HahahahahahahahaReplyDelete
Some people really need to get a life but until then there's Facebook! But unfortunately for these losers that's all the life they have *SMDH*