Lately, the voices of the wives of cheating husbands are becoming a lot more sound. And not in a way where she's big news in a televised interview or a hot topic in the news. Wives are writing books that will become timeless on shelves of book stores and in libraries. In the article, Silent no more, wives go public about their husbands' affair, we learn about the wives of high profile men who write books exposing their lives before, after, and during the discovery of their cheating husbands. And as ridiculous as it may seem to a cheating man, this peek into an adulterous relationship is providing support to women who have been or may become victims of infidelity.
Key ideas I grasped from the article:
- Infidelity isn't necessarily a character trait of your boo. It’s sometimes a result of something wrong within the relationship. So, just like women have breast exams to identify potential problems, there are ways to identify if there are arising problems within your relationship. So be sure to look out for warning signs and keep an open line of communication.
Fellas, don’t be afraid to tell your woman you like cheese in your grits, you like it better when she has sex without her night scarf on her head or that you’d prefer Friday nights spent playing your video games instead of out on the town with her friends. If she’s difficult and impossible to deal with, rethink the relationship and leave before you opt to cheating.
Ladies, instead of running the risk of accusing an innocent man, replace accusations with meaningful discussions on whatever is bothering you. And do it in a non-threatening way. No looking in his phone, no activating the locator in his blackberry, and no hiring private investigators. If he’s difficult and impossible to deal with, rethink the relationship and leave before you opt to cheating. (deja-vu??)
- Women aren’t like they were in the past where standing by their deceitful husbands was almost like second nature. Personally, I think a man feels more inclined to cheat when he believes his woman at home isn’t going anywhere. It becomes a gamble he's willing to risk. But if her loyalty is accompanied by a memoir recounting the details of their relationship, both personal and confidential, the stakes to that gamble become a little too high. (Imagine she goes into details about what you like to have inserted in certain places cuz you're a downright freak...)
- Staying faithful just seems to be easier when kids are involved or if you really love your spouse (or boo). Can you imagine looking your kids in the face after their mom has exposed the details of a relationship that is no more? Do you really want to lose the person you love or do you really even want to stay together when the trust has been ruined? (Women are more likely to cheat after you cuz they now have a "What I got to lose" attitude)
Now hold up those posters and chant with me, Hell No, We Won't
SB: Please forgive my bias arguments where it seems like I'm targeting male cheaters. I mean I am, but I'm really sorry that I do it (I try to be impartial... sometimes).
SB (double time): Black History lesson up next… just had to slide this one in for all my Challenging Cheaters Protestors