Quotes To Live By

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use...

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Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Single Girl's Guide to Dating 101

A Single Girl's Guide to Dating 101
Special Guest Blog by: La Bella

Recently someone asked me how can I give advice on relationships when I am not in one. 
My response: LIFE

At the age of 23, I have gone through a lot of ups and downs in relationships. I have cheated, been cheated on, a heartbreaker, heartbroken, fell in love, fell out of love, and anything else you can think of. I have been single for almost a year now, and I can honestly say that I am utterly and completely HAPPY. A friend told me that it’s impossible to be happy and single at the same time. That I can only be single and content. Well I beg to differ. If you can’t be 100% HAPPY with yourself AND by yourself, then how do you expect someone else to add to your happiness. Too many times people look for someone to add to their life, what they feel is “missing.” No one can add to your life, but you. People are too busy looking for a supplement and not a complement. A relationship consists of 2 whole beings coming together to form a whole. Not 50% of a person and the other person making up the other 50%. Your significant other should be your complementary and not your supplementary.

I was in my last relationship for 2 years and the relationship had it’s highs and lows, but in the end I asked myself “Am I 110% happy in this relationship?” And the answer was “No.” Things became too much of a routine. Watching tv, movies, dinner, watching tv, movies. You get my point. I am a Gemini and very spontaneous. Variety is the spice of life, and the routine became boring. I tried to suggest different things for us to do, but he was never open to anything that I wanted to do. Okay well not never, but not often enough. Eventually I fell out of love with him, and hated being around him. I’d much rather chill with my friends then to be with him. I'd even say some mean, nasty things to him during arguments. And if he ever reads this I want him to know that I really do love and appreciate him for everything. I’ve learned a lot from our relationship. I learned over time everything changes. Time changes all things. The person I am today is not the same person I was two years ago. And knowing that, I now realize that in a relationship you have to be willing to accept and love the person for who they are today, and who they will be tomorrow. Which is why I’ve made the choice to stay single. Not forever, of course. But I’m just enjoying the single life, enjoying getting to know the person that I am becoming and getting to know other people as well. I don’t want to spend another 2 years of my life with someone that I eventually will not like. I would rather date new people, get to know them, and have fun. The fact of the matter is you will never truly know a person. I met a married coupled that told me after 15 years of marriage, they are still learning about each other. SEE! As people we are forever changing. The only thing that is constant is CHANGE.

I don’t know if anyone will read this, but what I want you all to know is love yourself. You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself. TRULY love yourself. That’s the true meaning of being SINGLE. Enjoying, loving and living life! And I’m out!

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Meet the author: La Bella

Sharon aka La Bella likes shopping, reading and most importantly listening... listening to sounds, music, words... She says, "You can only truly gain knowledge by listening.  EYEListen."

Thanks so much for being my long time friend, my sister in Delta, and a woman who knows the importance of life!!  You go girl!

6 comments:

  1. Luv it as well.

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  2. I am so proud of you and always have been. Continue to stay strong and positive. You don't have to feel complete by being in a relationship. Hopefully this will make some evaluate their circumstances. Thank you sweetheart that was refreshing.

    Mae

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  3. Sharon i am so proud of you and yes i do believe that i can't love anyone unless i love myself. Thank you for your insight on self verses relationships.

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  4. Felicia Johnson says I love the person you are and have always been. You are still my baby and I am so proud of the wisdom, knowledge and understanding you have gained and demonstrate to all of us. Thank you

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  5. this is onpoint :) If you don't love urself it is completly vain 2 demand it of others. Good Read!

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