The Career Girlfriend

What's a career criminal?  Someone who has been in and out of jail so much that his career goals and aspirations must be to wear an orange jumpsuit until he can collect his pension, his 401k, social security or whatever else he must think is waiting for him at the end of his 25 to life.  (uhhh nothing loser!)

Now replace criminal with girlfriend... and you have just defined a woman who is two wedding bells short of ever becoming a wife.

In our generation, there's a lot of skepticism and cynical criticism about marriage.  People have opted for being lifelong girlfriends and boyfriends, no rings, no real title... just two people enjoying their relationship (or driving each other crazy) for as long as they both shall live.  And hey, it's your world!  If the two of you have agreed to this, no unification before God should stand in the way.  Besides, you have the Common Law giving you just about all the perks real marriage can give you anyway (darn you lawmakers).

But then there's the career girlfriend who wants to be a wife.  The girl who has been in long term relationships her whole entire life and always loses her guy (or dumps him) two months shy of him meeting the girl of his dreams who he marries 6 months later.  OR you have the girl who's been with her guy since high school, gave him the best 5 to 10 years of her life, a couple babies, the culinary skills to have auditioned for top chef, the looks to have audtioned for top model, and (shoot, I've ran out of reality shows... think, think, think) and the freakiness to have auditioned for Tela and Tequila!!  (Give me a break, I don't watch tv!).  Yet she has no ring to show for her years of hard labor.  Not even a promise to be married by date XX.  You don't even have cable for fear of you DVRing all the wedding shows to throw in his face oh so subtly...

So now the question I pose to you is: "How old is too old to still be a girlfriend?"

Hey, I'm not trying to put men in the hot seat (or am I) but women who want to be married and have been with their boyfriends for 5+ years, are all wondering the same thing: "Do you just expect me to be your girlfriend forever?"  If its a financial setback I totally understand.... Yeah, understand why you can't have a fairy tale wedding!  But why can't you take your girl to City Hall and make this union official.  Or go to my church! My pastor will give you a wedding in front of the congregation and he'll even fund your hotel stay for your first round of legal sex.  Yes, no sooner than the kissing of the bride, he will announce how he will be giving you 79 bucks so you can stay at the local telly!  He's such a mess lol. 

Ladies, if you have been with your man since the late 90s, you live together, you're the emergency contact on his health insurance, you know his whole starting lineup on his fantasy league team, AND you wish to be married, what the heck is the deal?  I know you're tired of holding your tongue.  So what do you do?  The last thing I would ever want you to do is give a man an ultimatum simply because I don't believe in backing a man into a corner for him to marry you.  I already told my hunny that if he plans on having children with me, it will be AFTER my last name changes... simple as that!  That way, when I feel like I've put in too many years and we're still playing "house" I will have the freedom to pick up and leave.  I guess if you have already started having children with your guy, he's really not pressed to put a ring on it because in his head he's saying, "Let's be real... where do you think you're going with Junior?"

In a man's defense, there has been so much negaitivty surrounding the idea of marriage.  Can you really blame a man for dodging the matrimony bullet?  The idea of being locked down for the rest of your life, of having to answer to someone who thinks she's your mother, of having to wear a ball and chain around your ring finger turning away just about every hottie who failed to reveal herself before you jumped the broom sounds like sheer baffonery to any sane man.  Because we all know that men think they are going to miss something if they make that type of commitment.  As if Halle Berry will show up the day after he ties the knot and says, "Damn baby, I was off by one day."  Get a grip!

My advice to the career girlfriends without kids, KNOW YOUR WORTH... and I mean your true worth.  Don't just say your the ideal wife and you still can't boil water and you're still using the excuse that you're allergic to bathroom cleaner and every year you need a new wardrobe because you just can't give up the twinkies.  You have some improvements to make before you go demanding a ring!  But if you're truly wifey material and you're guy hasn't even mentioned the idea of marriage after maddd years of cleaning his dirty drawers, it may be time to cut those ties loose and move on.  At least long enough for him to realize he was tripping for not liking it and putting a ring on it like Beyonce said.  Or maybe the two of you really aren't meant to be and the time apart will reveal just that.
And for the career girlfriends with babies to feed... sorry, I got nothing for ya!  I will not advise taking that man from a home with his kids.  But you really need to figure out if marriage means that much to you... enough to ruin a happy (or even semi-happy) home.  Shoot me a comment and I'll forward you that Common Law paper work.  EYEListen.

SB: NEVER settle or sell yourself short... fellas or ladies.  Every decision you make should be done whole-heartedly because of what you value, what you believe in and what makes you happiest.  Ladies, marriage is not about fairy tale love or fairy tale weddings, its about spending the rest of your life commiting and sacrificing for the one you love.  Fellas, who else is gonna love you when that full head of hear wanes down to fuzz, you better marry her while you still got sex appeal!

Just a reminder!

Today is October 26th... Yup, all day

To heck with a clever or witty title today.... nothing screams the obvious like today's date!

Let me first wish Mahdy a Happy Birthday... (he's my hunny's best friend)

Ok, first order of business is to finish my thoughts on flirting.  Then I will talk about how happy I am and lastly I will finish with a video my hunny did for a song he wrote for his favorite video game.  Oh and then I'll make a comment about Obama.

Flirting:
They say I'm a flirt.  Is it because I wear high heels and mini skirts to the grocery store?  No that would be a skank (I totally don't do this).  Is it because I have long eyelashes that I coat with mascara for longer, fuller lashes like the commercial says and I bat them while talking coyly to the opposite sex?  No that would be a manipulator (Not me again... I do wear mascara though).  Is it because I am friendly and self conscious and always wondering what people think of me so I work extra hard to be the nicest person I can so that they walk away feeling like they had a meaningful experience with someone who genuinely cares... Ding! Ding! Ding!  And 99.9% of the time, I'm accused of being a flirt.  My homegirl told me her hubby doesn't trust her out with me cuz I'm a flirt... cuz I'm way too nice to guys and friendly and I have convos with them and I don't  throw my drink in their face as soon as they say hello.  Mind you, I buy my own drinks, I usually carry the convo with hopes of learning something interesting about the person AND I keep my number and they keep theirs.  So how did I become the bad guy?  Scenario 2, my guy friend invited his boy over to visit me and my homegirl.  His friend was the stranger so I initiated convo, laughed at his semi-funny jokes and engaged everyone else in the conversations.  My homeboy pulled me to the side and said, "Hey, take it easy on the flirting."  I was appalled!  Someone had called the fire department on my fiery personality.  I was sad for the rest of the night because I felt cheated and misunderstood.  I had to step back and ask myself, am I a flirt... I immediately decided NO and wrote those people off!  One fist in the air to all the people out there who have a bubbly personality, killer social skills, and can't muster up a Hello without the next man accusing you of flirting.  I guess it's a thin line between friendly and flirty filled with grey area and misinterpretation.  But if being b*tchy can be glorified as the new Black... well being FLIRTY is the new FRIENDLY.  No harm, no foul!

Now that that's outta the way... why am I so happy?  I'm still poor, jobless, my doobie has fallen flat, I need a fill-in and my cell phone is about to die AGAIN today!  Yet I am still happy... and have been happy for the past 7 months of so... And it's because I still have the luxury of waking up (praises be to my God) and doing exactly what I WANT TO!  I don't rush to the "man's" job, I don't owe anybody anything, I'm not obligated to anyone or to anything without my whole-hearted desire and choice! And boy does it feel good!  I feel like the choices I've made, both good and bad have led me to this point and life and I am enjoying every day of it!  Is everyday a perfect one, nope!  And I don't need it to be.  But since I wake up with this positive energy, positivity fills my whole day.  Things still go wrong as life is full of surprises but it doesn't get me down.  It was raining the other nite, and I rolled my window down to wave goodbye to my friend Ladun, and the sucka didn't roll back up.  I didn't pout, I taped it up for the nite and rode it to the mechanic the next morning.  Went to a movie with my hunny and went back to pick my car up... handed the man almost 200 whole American dollars only to get my car back in the same condition it was before the malfunction.  Such is life...
The underlying message is really to count your blessings, think about that guy who asked for spare change and be happy about whatever situation you're in... because no matter what, it could be worse!  And while your at, do a little flirting just for kicks =)

Check out my hunny's song and video for MVC3
Kyle - lyricist
Ant - production
Will Nix - videography and photography

Youtube it: Marvel Vs Capcom 3 New Characters Revealed and Game Music


When you go to youtube, comment and let him know what you think!

A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS:
President Obama is but one man carrying the burdens of a decade worth of problems!  His popularity is dropping and the critics are doing what they do best, throwing Obama under the bus smh... Stay tuned in the next couple days as I share some correspondence I received about what our President has done so far, you'll be proud!

SB: Maybe I should have called this post "It doesn't get any more Random than this!" EYEListen.

Better Way to Start Your Mornings: Listening Pleasure

I have realized that many of you aren't cool enough to have made Z100 (100.3 FM) your radio station of choice while residing here in the tri-state area (NY, NJ, Conn... I think you can stream it online if you live elsewhere).  And I can't say that I blame you since a few months ago, I, too, wasn't cool enough.  But now that I am born again, I have become a believer in the WP's entertainment.  And let me tell you, it is highly entertaining!

So every morning I am graced with the voices of radio personalities Elvis Duran, Froggy, Carolina, ummmm that other girl with the funny laugh, Greg - T and Skeery Jones... and I swear they are the funniest collection of WP to hit FM air waves.  But aside from being funny, they are versatile in their humor.  They tell jokes, poke fun, make snide remarks, talk about the everyday randomness that may otherwise go overlooked... AND they do it all in the Queen's English... in short, good, clean humor minus all the "Yo, Yo" of some of the frequented BP stations. 

Soooo, I have decided to use their material and share it with you all, less fortunate radio listeners who have yet to conform, in an effort to A. blog more... and B. there is no B, I just need to blog more.  Ok wait, B. to show you that the WP's music, humor, and all out randomness might just be what you need to start your mornings Yo, Yo free.

And I think I'll call the series, Z100 This Morning... ok, wow, that was a 1.3 on the Rictor Scale of creativity.  Ummm well gosh, now you got me on the spot.... sooooo I'll hit the lab and do some thinking.  But for now let's call it: Laughs For z100, Alex... get it, like Jeopardy... Alex Trebek.. ya know, the host... sheesh, tough crowd... *bbm embarrassed face*

And without further adieu, ~insert drumroll or something for theatrics~
*Clearing throat* Ummm I'm realizing that typing sounds doesn't execute that well, so I hope you at least did a small drumroll on the keyboard??  In your head at least??  C'mon reader, if you won't be my audio, who will =(

I'm stalling aren't I?  Maybe I'm worried a blogged version of the FUNNY won't translate quite so well.  Then I'll be labeled corny and Z100 will be labeled corny, then they'll lose their ratings, they will all be fired and will have WillEYEListen banned from the Internet!!!!!

OK, OK...

Do you, or anyone you know, flirt to get ahead?  And they weren't just talking about in social settings, they specifically targeted in the work environment.  The guys on the show started talking about how women have been doing it for years and can get away with it while men, in any attempt to bat his eyelashes or to show a little leg will result in a sexual harassment suit and a call from HR (cause showing a little leg must mean that this grown man has on shorts!).  So people starting calling up telling how they have gotten ahead because of flirting.  This one girl called and said she managed to weasel 2 months of extra vacation time from her boss (she failed to mention what her "flirting" consisted of... neither did she mention the knee pads she probably carried to work).  And then this other girl called to tell how her boyfriend lets his gay boss flirt with him (she too left a few details out.. like how her boyfriend probably now wears mascara and high heels).  Then the morning show jokesters start talking about how ugly people must really lose out because there's no way ugly people are able to use this tool to get ahead... I mean really, what ugly people flirt and get away with it.  (SB: I do not approve this message... I think ugly people have equal opportunity at getting ahead by flirting... My name is Just "J" and I approve this message).  Then they had people call in to talk about the office skanks who are obviously using what they got to get what they want.  One girl called in to talk about a girl who wore skin tight skinnies with a shirt that didn't cover her camel toe or her butt crack.  And this guy called in to rat out the girl who today wore a leather mini skirt, a tank top and red pumps!  Unless they worked the Vegas strip, I can imagine this was inappropriate.  It reminded me of this chic at my ex-job (we broke up in June) who religiously wore this stretchy black mini skirt that clung to her every curve with a pair of black pumps.  Mind you, I worked for a financial institution that can be found on Wall Street!  And she was a slim little mamacita so it fit her nicely (pause) but totally inappropriate for work (or should I say totally appropriate to match her knee pads).

Then the whole topic of flirting segued into the thought of how harmless flirting really is as long as all parties involved are aware of the flirting.  All parties being: the flirter, the flirtee and the witnesses of the flirting who are least important but can ruin the rep of the flirter!  Yes I do sound bitter because I have been confused as a flirter (is flirter even a word?).  Ooops, I stopped typing for a sec to actually do some thinking (I normally keep typing and then do the thinking after I've posted... that's how you get raw posts that I pretend are thoughts lol).  Ok realized flirter isn't a word and I should be saying "a flirt"... ok sue me!  I went to school for engineering, not English! =P

But anyway... I realized this post is getting to be epic length... so stop by tomorrow for part duex on my thoughts (or thoughtless ramble) on flirting.  (Learned this trick on Maury to keep people coming back.  "Is Keisha and her boyfriend Raheem gonna stay together now that he knows Baby Sha-Quita isn't his... find out tomorrow on Maury").  EYEListen.

SB: OK I didn't say this would be HA-HA funny.. more like grin funny... or wait, light-hearted humor (for those who didn't even grin... with ya evil self) =)

Knowing the Person You're Dating

How well do you know your hunny??

They say good communication, stability, loyalty yadda yadda yadda will help sustain a healthy relationship... I say... KNOW YOUR HUNNY!

There's nothing worst than a guy getting a birthday gift from his main squeeze and inside the box are a pair of shiny AX jeans or two scarves when his birthday is in summer.

There's nothing worst than a girl getting a $50 giftcard... and not even one from her favorite store... but instead, a generic mall certificate or even worst, a visa giftcard.

Is it so hard to pay attention to the small things?  To take note of the subtleties, the hints, the unspoken obvious.  That's what a relationship is all about.  The daily discovery of the person you conveniently spend all your time with.  The finding out that he likes seafood or hates dressing up or would prefer football over basketball any day.  Or that she couldn't care less about makeup or designer bags but her shoe fetish is bananas or that she loves Maxwell or going on weekend getaways.  How do you fall in love with someone without knowing and understanding what your falling in love with??  Moreover, how do you last in a relationship when you feel like your silent requests are being overlooked or ignored?? 

Ahhh wellllll *shrugs*

I love my hunny and even though I give him a hard time and everyday I manage to find something new to complain about, he knows that I know, without him having to verbally iterate, what makes him tick...

Here's what I've learned...

Do not touch the PS3
I will never cook like his mother, so don't bother
He's a sucker for a pretty face and a big butt
He's a visual eater so anything that looks pink, it's not done... even if its ham lol
He loves haagen daaz vanilla ice cream, lime tortilla chips and chessman cookies
Banksy is his favorite graffiti artist and he loves weird art
Dates to remember, Jordan's bday, MVC3 release date and when football season begins
He wears torn jeans and plaid shirts... but not any plaid, the squares can't be too big or too small
Rap music was God's way off showing off people's real talent... so he loves rap, listening and writing
Braves are his fav baseball team, Bills his fav football team and Bulls his fav basketball team (don't judge him lol)
Romance isn't his thing but he's one heck of a gift giver
He hates food with that rubbery texture, i.e. shrimp and boiled eggs
Mike's Hard Lemonade is as hard (he'd say pause here) as he'll go
He loves me <3

Knowing your hunny really just makes the relationship easier and more enjoyable.  If you know he forgets to call when he's hanging with his buds or that she yells when she's adamant and it's not to be demeaning, you'll realize it's a minor flaw and not negative intent.  You'll realize which battles to pick and choose.  You'll realize that all that's needed is understanding... (remember Escape... what I need from you is understanding... so simple as 1-2-3... and now Kandi was on some silly reality show and Tiny got wayyy too much botox in her lips. SMH)

Bottom line...

Because you know what you're getting into, you show up to a baby shower with diapers and bottles... you show up to a bachelorette party with handcuffs and warming lotion... and unless you want to show up to court with pictures of the broken glass and his or her name scratched into your car... KNOW YOUR HUNNY!  EYEListen.

SB: No one's intent should be to change the person you're dating... but if it's been years and your babe hasn't even molded in accordance with how you are, i.e., avoided saying certain things that set you off, hasn't obliged to your "at least call if your going to be late" or still can't get you that simple gift that says "I'm paying attention baby"... maybe it's time to give someone else a shot.   ;-)

More Blogless Excuses

OKOKOKOK... sue me!  (Thinking of a really good excuse) ummmmmm... my dog ate my computer??

I have not blogged since Sept. 11th (I think)... the day we paid homage to the lives lost and risked during the horrible tragedy of 2001 (clearly I'm changing the topic while gaining sympathy for a more important issue).

Ok forget it, I give up!  I'm a slacker, a bum, a failure to my creation, my love, my WillEyeListen... Wait wait wait, I have just one last excuse...

I am The One... sorta like Neo but minus the weird slow motion and bending spoons.  I have been placed on this earth to fulfill duties and inspire.  I wake up every morning with my own agenda, and somewhere along the way I get tricked into talking to some guy trying to get me to choose a red or green (or was it blue) pill.  And after I flag down the police and get that wacked out drug dealer out of my face (my mama said to just say NO), I find myself on a one way trip down Pleasing Others Lane...

And that's the real reason I haven't blogged.  I'm too busy fulfilling my destiny of fulfilling everyone else's agenda.

I'm at that age where all my friends are turning a year older, having babies, getting married, trying new business ventures, moving into new homes and needing rides to the courthouse.  So how do you expect me to have time for myself.  Nevermind the fact that I'm a full time (ok I'm lying, I have 11 credits) student.  Not to mention school came easy to me when I didn't care about reading the chapters and when my photographic memory only worked 12 hours before an exam.  So why read and study ahead of time when cramming was so much more time efficient.  Now I HAVE to spend my time studying and highlighting and reading and rereading and ummm yeah rereading cuz I have ADD (self-diagnosed, of course) and after I read a paragraph I have to reread it because I started thinking about purple blossoms and teacup yorkees in the middle of the sentence about the monosaccharides and ribosomes (yes anatomy and physiology, please help!!).  And then on top of that, I barely have had time to shoot anything... and you know next to breathing, shooting is the next most important life function (wait, regular bowel movement and blinking definitely rank pretty high in there somewhere). 

THEN, I have had no time to regularly attend the gym and though I haven't quite fallen apart, I have a few pair of jeans my little cousin will be the new proud owner of.  So don't be fooled if you caught me at the spot looking ravishing because I managed to fool the camera man with a quick breath holding technique that flattens the mid section.

Because at home I'm really looking like

So all in all... I do realize that I have become the deadbeat dad, mom, owner, whatever you want to call my relation to this infant of a website (who btw will be turning One year old next month *bbm dancing and bbm party hat*)

I have an exam tomorrow but after that I intend on doing some posting of some of the crap that clouds my mind that you are lucky enough to have to put up with =)

Did I mention that I love you for putting up with it.  EyeListen.

I'm a Hater

Don't judge me, you're a hater too...

I hate...

Right Size Smoothie commercials
All commercials on the radio
When all my fave radio stations are on commercial
When the only station not on commercial is the one playing those damn Eminem songs
Detours
When the navi can't find a location
Arguments with no resolution
Arguments with an idiot
Arguments
The pinky toe
Snobby people
Liars
No toilet paper after you sit down
Windshield wiper sounds when it stops raining
When people start a sentence and right before they get to the juicy part they... Nevermind.
People who outstay their welcome
Loud music that makes your speakers rattle
Loud people
Loud black people
When black people say Ni99a around "other" people
When I cuss aloud and King says I need a filter
When radio dj's don't say the title and artist of a good song
When my blackberry freezes
Rebooting my blackberry
It freezing again
When its free before 11 and its 11:01 when I get there
When ex's say "what if"
When promoters request me on facebook
Rejecting promoters... Who are my friends in real life
Removing promoters who are my real friends and they send me an inbox message
Line drying after washing my clothes
Waking up half hour before my alarm goes off
Falling back asleep 5 minutes before my alarm goes off 
People who don't hold the door
People who don't say thanks when I hold the door
When I gotta let the next door slam in their face
Heels when they start to hurt
Chics who wear flats in the club
Tipping bartenders who make whack drinks
People who make the same mistake
Dudes with 3 baby mothers
Dudes who make the same mistake
Making mistakes
When my fingers hurt after getting my nails done
Sleeping in socks
Stepping in water with socks
When I can't find socks that match
Mosquito bites
When my phone is about to die
When my phone dies
People with public service jobs who hate their jobs
People who hate their jobs
When I hated my job
Bbm for telling people I read their message when I have no intention on responding
When someone reads my message and they don't respond
Texting "lol" when I know I didn't crack a smile
Complainers
Lists with no point
Lists with no end
People who hate

Oh... Ok I'm done.

EYEListen.

Quotes To Live By

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones"

- Francois de la Rochefoucauld